Hello wonderful followers, facebookers, and the seven to nine friends of my mother that she insists read what ever this may be. It’s wonderful to be back on MySuddenlyOkayLife! I had to take a bit of a break to get a bunch of college stuff all adjusted and ready to make important adult decisions that could affect the entire outcome of my life with the simple choice of to take Shakespeare or Minority Literature first.
I ended up taking them both at the same time. It seemed like a good idea but it ended up providing an impressive mountain of reading. I’ve learned the general idea of how to survive being a character in any form of literature seems to be universal regardless of genre.
Rule 1. Be white.
Rule 2. Be a man.
Rule 3. Don’t not be white.
Rule 4. If your uncle has one weird, shriveled hand, he’s probably an asshole and you shouldn’t invite him to family functions.
It was the darkest of days. The sky looked like the bath water of a chimney sweep and the air was pungent with decay from the surrounding forest and gardens. This was the third day of heavy rain and I had just about had enough of it. By some divine coincidence I had managed to leave class and make it to my car in between the brief pauses in the storms but today my luck had run out.
It was a wonderful thing to attend a university surrounded by a nature reserve but it also meant that thousands of tiny black Lovebugs had an endless amount of space to reproduce into black swarms that drunkenly bumbled about the air like Football fans the day after Superbowl. It was infuriatingly amazing how they were able to dodge the constant sheets of rain. It was like a force field was protecting them from the rain just long enough to get tangled up in my hair.
I stood there under the awning of the front building, remembering where I had parked.
All the way at the back of the lot. My car locator app said .984 miles away.
What was that? Some kind of death sentence? This backpack was weighing on my back with the stacks of textbooks crammed into every possible nook and cranny of its interior. I used a backpack made for hunting purposes so I could get a nice refreshment straw attached but I had to remove it to make room for an analysis of Richard the III. As if he couldn’t get any more foul, his very presence in the curriculum had robbed me of convenient hydration.